


Photos

by Makito



Category: Tales of Xillia
Genre: Angst, But Not Much, Fluff, M/M, Sibling Incest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-06
Updated: 2016-05-06
Packaged: 2018-06-06 15:54:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,123
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6760378
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Makito/pseuds/Makito
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Why do you always only take pictures of me?" Julius suddenly asked and Ludger was startled out of his thoughts as he looked up at his brother who had moved closer in the meanwhile.</p><p>"I..." Ludger started. Not sure how to express himself. "I want to save memories... of important moments," he continued, feeling his face getting heated "and... and pictures without anyone in them feel lonely but it's hard to take pictures of myself."</p><p>---</p><p>Or Ludger can't help but take pictures of Julius because. Julius.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Photos

**Author's Note:**

> I read a side chapter of one of the ToX2 mangas (I think?) where Elle accidentally deleted all of Ludger's pictures on his GHS and apparently he only has pictures of Rollo, food and Julius on it so of course I'd have to write a fic about it and make it way less innocent.

As far as Ludger could remember, he had always admired his brother. To him, Julius was the ideal, whether it came to looks, intelligence or strength, no one surpassed his brother. Ludger could think of countless reasons to look up to Julius and there was nothing unusual about admiring your older sibling, nothing wrong about sitting with a GHS and feeling amazed that such an important device was only made possible because of your brother's efforts.

It _was_ unusual however, to use this device to capture your brother's sleeping face while he was resting on the couch after a long day at work. It _was_ wrong to look at it with feelings that went well beyond simple admiration. Ludger knew all of this, had known all of this since the first time looking at his brother made his stomach feel funny, since hearing his voice made him feel warm in places that should not be affected by someone whose blood you share, but years later and the knowledge hadn't changed anything about Ludger's feelings. No, his feelings had grown stronger and as he looked down at the picture and gently ran his thumb across the screen, he knew that he would never change.

Ludger had accepted this part of him, maybe too easily, he thought, but he could never tell Julius. He would never want to trouble his sweet, gentle, perfect brother with this weird part of him. No matter how much he wanted to touch him, find out how his lips tasted, how sweetly he'd call Ludger's name during times he could only fantasize about, he'd never tell him. But in turn for staying quiet, Ludger let himself be just a little selfish, he just asked for this one thing, just a small collection of pictures of Julius that he could look at whenever he was feeling lonely. It may be wrong but it was better than acting on his feelings, better than ruining the most important relationship in his life, Ludger reasoned as he took one last look at his brother's unguarded sleeping face on the screen before returning to his chores.

 

Later that day Ludger already gained another opportunity to capture his precious brother on camera. Julius had come home earlier than usual and as Ludger hadn't made dinner yet, Julius opted to take a shower first before he disappeared into his room. When Ludger called him for dinner about an hour later, Julius had changed to his casual clothes. This was normal and Julius wearing silly t-shirts that didn't match his professional look was usual as well but the one he was wearing now was new, Ludger could easily tell as he was the one who did all the laundry and he had never seen this particular t-shirt before. Looking at the cute smiling cartoon cat on it, Ludger couldn't help but let out a little laugh.

"What?" Julius asked while smiling, he probably already knew the answer but questioned his little brother anyway.

"Nothing. That t-shirt is just cute. Is it new?" Ludger answered and continued, his own question not really needing a reply. "Your taste in clothes is... interesting as always."

"Hey now," Julius smiled as he went and ruffled Ludger's hair. "I don't want to hear that from the one who used his allowance to buy me one of these _interesting_ shirts for my birthday and pleaded me to wear it every day when he was ten," he continued as Ludger blushed from the memory, "so whose fault do you think it is that I got used to wearing these in the first place?"

Ludger didn't reply, he just laughed while secretly feeling happy that he was part of the reason that Julius developed this cute habit. Looking at his brother, Ludger got an idea.

"Julius, would you let me take a picture of it?" Ludger asked as he grabbed his GHS. When Julius just stared at him questioningly, Ludger blushed and clarified. "T-the t-shirt, I mean."

"Well... sure, if you want, I don't see why not," Julius affirmed, probably just thinking that his brother actually liked the silly clothing too. "Just don't use it for anything bad," he added teasingly.

It was a simple remark, just a little joke, but Ludger felt himself choke on air anyway, he tried to say something but nothing came out.

"Like blackmail," Julius continued, his tone still light.

 _Oh. That's what he had meant, Ludger finally gathered his thoughts again. Of course it was, what else could he had meant, there was no way he'd actually suggest I was going to use the picture for... for what I'd actually use it for._ Ludger felt a cold blooming in his chest but was brought out of his thoughts by Julius calling his name.

"Oh, sorry, yeah. Of course I won't," Ludger replied and smiled, trying to sound as light-hearted as possible.

Julius looked at him fondly through the camera as Ludger took the photo and it only made him feel more guilty, his brother would never suspect him of doing anything indecent. He said he wanted a picture of the t-shirt, but of course he really just wanted a picture of Julius though it wasn't a lie that Ludger loved these shirts. He loved that this was a side of Julius only he got to see, his usual prim and proper brother wearing something so childish was incredibly endearing to Ludger and even if Julius didn't tell him to, it wasn't something he'd share with anyone even if the picture itself was seemingly innocent. But that was not all. Yes, Ludger thought Julius looked really cute in his casual clothes as weird as that may sound but he also had a habit of buying t-shirts that were _really_ tight. They framed his brother's body beautifully and emphasized his broad shoulders, his trained chest, his waist, his impressive biceps and well, all of him, Ludger thought to himself, taking a small second to admire his brother on the screen before looking up at the real thing and smiling.

He felt guilty, he did, but he needed this. This was how they'd get hurt the least. This was how his brother would get hurt the least. Ludger didn't mind hurting if it meant Julius could stay happy, but currently Ludger wasn't strong enough to completely push his own feelings aside so he'd make do with this even if it was wrong, even the guilt was eating at him.

Ludger asked to take pictures of all his brother's new shirts from then on.

 

Over time, the gallery on Ludger's GHS was extended from being mostly pictures of Rollo and various dishes he had cooked for Julius that he had been particularly fond of, to a diverse collection of pictures of Julius during all of sorts of situations and outfits.

It was Ludger's secret treasure and by now he almost added to it daily. Of course, not all were taken in secret, he'd ask Julius to pose for him during times were it wouldn't be too weird to ask to take a picture like with the t-shirts and his brother was always happy to oblige even if he didn't understand why Ludger liked taking pictures so much. 

These are the photos that Ludger doesn't feel _that_ guilty about, he used to, in the beginning, but by now they seem innocent compared to the others. At least Julius _knows_ these photos exist, he may not know the entire reason for Ludger's sudden interest in taking pictures of him at every opportunity he gets but that's okay, _surely it's fine, it won't hurt him_ is what Ludger tells himself. There are others however, photos that Julius doesn't know about, taken in secret, when he doesn't look or while Ludger is pretending to use his GHS for something else but is really taking a picture. These were the photos that made Ludger feel sick with guilt, there was nothing about them that wasn't wrong but he couldn't help himself. Before he knew it, he had developed a habit of snapping a photo of his brother whenever he felt like Julius was being unfairly attractive. Which was often much to Ludger's chagrin.

So he started taking different photos.

Photos with focus on body parts instead of Julius' face. Photos with angles that made them look particularly indecent. Photos of Julius fresh out of the bath, with nothing but his pants on, as he rubbed his hair with his towel. Photos of his naked, wet upper body, his abs, his chest. Photos of his neck as a droplet glided down it. Photos that Ludger looked at in the safety of his room, alone in the night, making sure his brother couldn't hear him. Photos that killed Ludger as much as they saved him.

Photos that Ludger no longer could live without.

 

By now the pictures of Rollo and the dishes were drowned in a sea of Julius but Ludger didn't mind, didn't think about that he might need more than that. Not until one time where the weather had been particularly nice and Julius had a rare day off so they decided to go for a walk to enjoy it. It had been normal, or it had become normal to automatically reach for his GHS to take a picture of his brother while he was walking in a field of yellow flowers. They were golden, the flowers, but nowhere as beautiful or radiant as Julius and Ludger couldn't keep himself from capturing this moment with this camera. His breath hitched as his brother smiled at him, so gentle and fond, Ludger was sure this was the most stunning sight in the world. As he looked at the picture, he knew that this was one he couldn't stain, a picture that held all of his brother's radiance. Surely, he couldn't take a photo that he'd love more than this.

"Why do you always only take pictures of me?" Julius suddenly asked and Ludger was startled out of his thoughts as he looked up at his brother who had moved closer in the meanwhile.

"I..." Ludger started. Not sure how to express himself. "I want to save memories... of important moments," he continued, feeling his face getting heated "and... and pictures without anyone in them feel lonely but it's hard to take pictures of myself."

"I see," was Julius' simple reply, but somehow Ludger could hear warmth in his voice, more so than usual.

Before he could react, Julius had taken his GHS from his hands, he was about to panic but then he felt his brother's hand on his shoulder, pulling him against his chest. When they were right next to each other, Julius held the GHS so the camera would fit the both of them. Ludger was confused but then he saw his brother's smile as he looked into the camera and he felt himself smiling even as his blush reached all the way to his ears.

"Only having pictures of me must be boring so from now on let's take more pictures together, okay?" Julius explained, looking sweetly at Ludger before turning back to the camera. Ludger could only bring himself to nod.

Julius took the picture.

Ludger had been wrong.

He could love a picture more than the one he had taken of Julius that day.

He could want more than a collection of just pictures of Julius.

Something inside him had spilled over and suddenly he knew that pictures would no longer be enough. But now was not the time. Now he had to admire the picture in his hands, the picture of him and his brother, smiling, so very happy, a field of golden flowers behind them, the most important picture he had.

But little did Ludger know that he would take so many more most important pictures. That his collection of Julius would turn into a collection of Julius and Ludger.

That after years, after feelings had poured out and fear and fighting and doubts had been washed away, he'd lay next to his brother in his bed one morning, reaching for his GHS to take a picture of his sleeping face. So much more intimate than the one he had taken of Julius sleeping on his couch all those years ago but the guilty feeling was long gone. The embarrassment wasn't. Not when he heard Julius laugh, not when he dropped his GHS on the bed from surprise, not when Julius reached for it and took a picture of them as he kissed Ludger's hair. The embarrassment was still there but that was fine. Along with it came happiness that Ludger had never dared hope for and a GHS full of important memories.

**Author's Note:**

> What are endings.
> 
> Don't take pictures of people without their permission, kids. Don't be like Ludger.
> 
> I considered adding a scene of Ludger taking pictures during more.. intimate situations but I let it just stay somewhat cute. Maybe I'll write an extra chapter for it at some point.
> 
> I think it would feel more natural for me to write from Julius' POV but I wanted to write this because it didn't have much angst and writing from Julius' POV without it being an angst fest would be impossible for me. Probably.
> 
> Anyway this is my second fic ever but the Kresniks make me want to write (and die) so hopefully I can actually get my other ideas out.
> 
> Thanks for reading!


End file.
